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Dear Life Group It is a NPR tip column, where experts answer difficult questions about relationships, social morals, work culture and more.
Send us your unknown questions. In our next episode, we are looking for your inquiries about doubt and making decisions in relationships.
These questions were answered by Halley Nahman Maybe my love Newsletter and podcast, and Danny Nelson, participant in the host Maybe my love, dear Danny Series of advice. The conversation was edited for length and clarity.
Dear Life Kit, I am a 60 -year -old widow, and I recently met a 52 -year -old widow.
We deal with great. It is smart like hell and satirical as I am. Some of us have told us that we love each other and expressed his homeland in inappropriate ways.
The issue is that she is a widow of her wife. I am also a widow of my wife, who was with women before she met me. I am very open to people’s sexual life, and we have discussed sexual activity for a short period, but I have no idea about its liquid, if any.
I don’t want anything better than kissing it. I felt at least a few moments was perfect, but I hesitated. I don’t want to chase it away. Any advice on how to follow? -more than friends
Nahman: This is very sweet. We have lost a lot of romance in young generations.
My first impression is that I do not think that a kiss is the place here. I think he can say, “I enjoy being friends with you, but will you ever become on a date with me, or is this not something?” It can be simple like that and easy.
Nelson: definitely. If he wants to follow this, and he is actually proud of friendship that he does not want to lose it, then the first path of work is to reach conditions in his heart about being completely agreeing to the place they are now. Then it will be safe to move forward.
Nahman: There is always a risk with putting yourself there, but there is no danger. But I think they are in an era and experience where they can overcome something like that.
Dear Life Kit, my partner for six years and I have been thinking about taking the next step together: marriage and having children.
While starting the family something we want in life, I refrain from adhering to it because I cannot bear his family. They are very vicious for me and they constantly create me, my background and culture.
I cannot imagine raising my children in a mixed cultural family, as he does not understand the closest members of her extended family and celebrate their unique heritage. I told him how to feel about this situation, and we alike we feel. We feel that facing his family will be embarrassing and driving a wedge between my partner, which is the last thing I want. I feel that the only options are to absorb or move forward. – No, thank you, Fam
Nahman: I think this is the responsibility of the partner. He needs to defend her and tell his parents that they will not have a relationship with their grandchildren if they do not respect her.
He needs to show her that she is safe and he hears her completely in everything she says and agrees with. We hope to see it in the same way. If you feel upset in any way, this is a different conversation.
She also needs to be incredibly clear with her partner about her fears, doubts and what she needs to do.
Nelson: It is strange for me to be with someone for a six -year and to talk about the start of a family and then to be like, in fact, his son -in -law is so terrible that perhaps I must separate and start again. It looks like a truly extremist response to such a long relationship. It is useful to think if you actually have doubts about the appropriate relationship.
The podcast loop is produced by Ande Tagle. The digital story was edited by Megan Kane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We would like to hear from you. Leave us an audio mail on 202-216-9823, or email us on Lifekit@npr.org.
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